Yawning Fleas

Midnight Game

2012-01-31T01:09:00.002+08:00

Mummy and I played a fun game tonight.

She dared me to kill myself.

Grateful for the unspoken permission that was just granted, I breezed out of the house. At long last, a chance to take a breather from the one who had been relentlessly judging you and yelling into your ear the things you don't need to learn. Though, when I think about it, maybe it's not all her fault. She's had one too many bruises to nurse over the years. Bitterness eats you from the inside, and it's a very hard thing to get rid off when say, your kid's bad habits and trips and falls are a constant reminder of the very things you detest about your partner.

Went up to the top of the roof. Assessed the different spots one could jump off from. And stayed there, taking in the night breeze, until I dozed off, and until I woke up.

I love this place.
I love how it's so peaceful.
I love how it's so dark.
I love how the wind cradles you.
Most of all, I love how my anguish, my frustration, my anger just dissipated like that.

I'm not suicidal.

I'm just glad I got the chance to get out of the pressure cooker that had been set on for 3 hours.

Swallowing Acid

2011-10-15T23:05:00.000+08:00

My throat is burning. But I must restrain myself.

Some things are not worth tears.

This kind of music is sheer beauty.

2011-09-09T11:45:00.001+08:00

I am going to cry. There are just so many phenomenal ex-artists out there whom I miss terribly/deserve lots more mention.

1) TLC, successful African-American girl-group of the 90s (They win Destiny's Child hands down! To be fair, DC had good songs - I grew up with a couple of them alongside TLC's songs). I'm crazy over T-boz. Her strength and optimism in the face of what she has gone through (sickle cell anaemia, brain tumor...) is very inspiring. And her haircut between the 1994-2000 is to die for. I love her individual uniqueness and her strength and courage.

My top 6 favourite songs from TLC:
a) "Waterfalls" (Very meaningful, and Left Eye's rap in here is so quirky and fun!),
b) "No Scrubs" (I so wanna move like T-boz in this video. She's really cool.)
c) "Creep"
d) "Dear Lie" (Another inspiring song)
e) "Unpretty" (This too. Hahaha I love Chilli's acting!)
e) "Girl Talk" (Chilli's and T-boz's tribute to Left Eye in the video is really sweet. RIP Left Eye ><)

2) Nujabes, a Japanese hip hop producer and DJ. Sick beats, creative music. "Arurian Dance" is my go-to emo music right now. Oh man, my heart is swishing. This is really good stuff.

RIP Nujabes. You are sorely missed.

3) Dug out many other beautifully haunting songs from relatively lesser known but successful artists. Because I'm in a tranced state right now, I going to recommend emo-sounding "2 little 2 late" by Bonnie Bailey. On the topic of emo, I'm also revisiting "Tumblin Down" by Jenna Andrews, a delight I discovered at the start of the year.

Wanderer Fantasy

2011-06-09T19:46:00.142+08:00

No, not Schubert. Just crazy old me 8D.

What lightyears of being cooped up in a house studying (slacking) can do to a stoned-faced girl who, in reality, is restless at heart.

Step 1: Dropped off at Raffles Place MRT. Got out of the hole.

Step 2: Walked around those intimidating business towers and ended up heading towards the direction of fullerton bay hotel. Stopped in front of the entrance for a sec to enjoy the aircon.

Step 3: Kept walking along Singapore River. Loved the smell of salt water. Passed by the spitting merlion.

Step 4: Turned left and walked underneath a flyover (starbucks on left, river under flyover on right).

Step 5: Crossed bridge to other side of river.

Step 6: Walked along a fairly obscure pathway (landmarks: The Glorious Dead, opp victoria concert hall and the likes). There was a strange guy in a very large hat sitting by the steps of The Glorious Dead, and he kept staring at me as I passed. Never seen a little girl before, sir?

Step 7: Along the way, stumbled across a lighthearted, uplifting scene. Ahead of me were two Bangladeshi workers having a moment of laughter while at work. One had successfully hung his rope on a tree. The other guy was damn fail haha. He kept trying to toss his rope up onto a branch, but it kept falling to the ground. The former would watch the latter with amusement and make several remarks (not that I understand Bangladeshi) in a playful tone. It was a priceless scene, watching the wide grins on both the workers xD. So wished I couldve captured it on video, but it woulda been so indiscreet. Little funny scenarios like this do add a little lighthearted zing to an otherwise mundane work routine.

Step 8: Continued walking along the path (landmarks: tan kim seng fountain) until I reached an underpass linking to the Esplanade. I've always loved how the underpass is so spacious. Young couples/groups of students huddled together to study. Two dance students practised their dance moves while their radio softly played music.

Step 9: Link to Esplanade: Current installment: "Too Big in the Tank" by Joo Choon Lin, in collaboration with the kids from Jamiyah Children's Home. The children's funny faces are priceless! But it juxtaposes with the serious message the work intends to convey. Koped from what I saw written on the installation (i had ma trusty phone cam):

"Familial problems and social conditions often neglect, entrap, and render children powerless. Inevitably, they would have to enter society one day, hopefully with the realisation that happiness is within their control."

and

"Metaphorical to broken dreams as well as the deep emotional and spiritual struggles of these children, Too Big in the Tank portrays a fish’s desire to make its way into the sea, which ultimately represents its sense of nature, home and security."

Some food for thought.

Step 10: Reach Esplanade. Latest installment at the concourse: "Aung Ko's Village". Breathtaking work. I knew I had to visit the Jendela (Visual Arts Space) because the 2nd part of Aung Ko's installment was there. Aung Ko is really talented, and his concept has deep meaning to it.

Step 11: Visited Library@Esplanade. Damn, you have to check out their jamming room! I couldnt stop gawking at it from outside its glass walls. It made me wanna learn the drums and the guitar and the DJ thingmajacks all at once so that I could come in and shamelessly trash the neat equipment they have in there. Anybody wanna form a band with me?

I had intended to look for Martha Argerich: Evening Talks. A shame the CD was already on loan )): Not willing to leave empty handed, I left with a compilation of piano jazz scores. Been wanting to learn more about jazz this year. And I when I'm done with the o.O lvls, imma learn my friggin jazz guitar. I think.

Step 12: Show's over. Made my walk via City Link Mall (Stopped midway to (over-)indulge in a large cone of Gelato) to City Hall MRT. Back to home.

Now there's a real learning jouney. Something that stimulates your senses and thoughts and relfections. Something you discover for yourself.

Flobots for June

2011-06-01T14:48:00.001+08:00

I could gush on and on about how and why Flobots is one of my favourite bands of all time.
But I won't.

Let the music do the talking.

I turn to this when I'm stressed. Slow down baby.

This is an epic video.

Today is different

2011-04-06T22:32:00.000+08:00

Oh, Gladys, what can I say.

Today, you brought meaning into my life.
Today, you rescued me from the wrath of procrastination and off-focus and my fast-corroding mental well-being.
Today, you made me accomplish what I never thought I could have accomplished before.

Today, you had me nail my 3 greatest priorities all in 3 hours.

Today has been my most productive day since March hols. :))

The cool study music project on Youtube

2011-03-09T21:19:00.002+08:00

Dennis Kuo, Dennis Kuo, Dennis Kuo.

I'm so glad I discovered your Study Music Project on Youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/user/StudyMusicProject

It's beautiful. And it works. I have a playlist dedicated solely to your music clips.

Did I ever tell you that I've always wanted to be just like you?

It's been a childhood/student dream of mine to create music like that. I've always been interested in creating therapy music, music for relaxation, music to enhance various moods and feelings (self-esteem, concentration, healing.....), study music (I've just added you to my list of idols in this field Mr Kuo!!), yknow, these kinda music tailored for the mind. I've been inspired by the pros in the field such as widely acclaimed Steven Halpern.

But someone like you would probably give me a much higher motivation to achieve something similar. You're still a student, studying medicine (as if that in itself isn't a feat already!) and yet you've found time to embark on a side project that you love and commit to. That's something I need to work on, given my terrible time management skills and basically (recently) bleak outlook of schoolwork. I think it indirectly gave me a wake-up call. There are mindsets I need to change and habits I need to abolish.

I hope I can find time to pursue a creative project while balancing school! There are so many things I want to try out, but never found the time for. As of now, these are the "hot trends" flashing in my mind:

1) Music for the mind, as mentioned above.
2) Clothesmaking and fashion design (I'm still wondering if I should make a GB dress for fam ;p)
3) Baking projects

I'll make sure I have one of these to look forward to when I'm over and done with the Os. In the meantime, I have to study hard. Sigh, not really my forte. I honestly don't know how long I can hold up -- in fact, I'll probably get distracted and stray away within the next few minutes of doing work.

You say how leh. I so need tips from a Study War Veteran ):

This is not the culture I want to bring with me into adulthood

2011-03-03T23:31:00.007+08:00

Ack, I've been robbed.

Something somewhere somehow is wrong with the school culture. No, I am not discrediting the obvious merits of our school culture, but I will not be elaborating any further on it, since I really want to cut to the chase and address the problem.

Something somewhere somehow is wrong with the school culture, if people all around you - and you yourself -  are awarded 3-5 hours of sleep weekdaily for ~18 hours of work.

We may conveniently point the blame to poor time management skills. Yes, a crucial factor. But with a good majority of the school population sleeping past 12 and waking before 6-7, I think there may be more to it than meets the eye.
In this competitive society/mad house, we're... overly overwhelmed. It's exhausting. The activities, the work, the tight deadlines, the big mad rushes, the dont-ask-me-how-i-just-squashed-them-in schedules. Don't even attempt to joke about the pee tees and ay ays. I will slap you.

"Too many things to do, too little time" may sound like a cliched complaint, but when you think about it, why cliched in the first place? Why are so many people lamenting about the same thing?

Here we are, in our crucial stages of growth and healing. If at this young age, we're deprived of the sleep and the time we really should be having, what's going to happen to us as adults, physically and habitually (and in my case, mentally)?

Our teachers have great faith in us. They know that, "being the tough cookies we are, we're capable of accomplishing anything they pile on our shoulders, no matter the quantity". And as history has proven, many of us have, particularly --and proudly-- so at the eleventh hour.

But at what price?

What Xiaxue?? Here's an award-winning blogger for you.

2010-11-25T22:40:00.009+08:00

I have a new idol!

Presenting... The Pioneer Woman - Ree Drummond. She is a woman of many "professions": homemaker, mother of 4, ex-city-girl-turned-country-bumpkin (in my own words haha), photographer, cook, blogger-turned-writer (of a cookbook, of humorous daily accounts, and of an upcoming book "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels"). Too bad they cant be found in Sg. At least it's all readable on her blog. But I want the hardcopies badly.

Her blog is awesome. It's diverse, full of life and interests --a nicely classified hodgepodge of her life and her knowledge. Cooking (MY FAVOURITE SECTION!! Her recipes are... *salivates profusely*), Photography, Homeschooling (I learned new words! Wouldja have guessed what "Foist" or "Pulchritude" meant without consulting the dictionary?), Home and Garden and all... not to mention her quirky life stories (here's one from Confessions of A Pioneer Woman: http://thepioneerwoman.com/blog/2010/11/the-haunted-house/). One thing I know, she has a flair for writing beautifully, and she never fails to amuse. And amazingly, it's as though she'll never run of anything to share anytime soon.

Call this a coincidence, but just as interestingly, Ree even happends to have the kind of life I've always been dreaming about since I was a little kid: Settling down in the countryside, enjoying its slower-paced lifestyle and vibrant community, and still live a life full of diverse interests and get to pursue your dreams and make a name for yourself.

I can dream on. I live on the other side of the fence, and over here, life is far from that of my alternate world of bliss. Maybe it's just me, but I think our society generally views successful lives very differently, and often the way I don't really like. Of course you get to succeed when you put your mind to it, but it's very easy to subject yourself to all that undue stress while you're at it. Competition is high. E.g. You want a white collar job? You first have to cut the academic grade (which itself is seriously no easy feat), and on top of that you'd need a blossoming portfolio of gdness knows what, to cancel out all othr competitors. Exaggerated perhaps, but you get the idea. You have to work really, really hard. I salute those who made it and managed to stay there, and more importantly, remain satisfied with their life.

So, if you want to be a countrygirl, forget it. We don't have any here. This is the city. My daydreams are pretty much impossible to fulfill, unless of course I migrate and move out to a different community (or my alternate dimension). Or simpy be sensible and make the best of what I have here.

But I digress *waves away castle in the air*. Where were we? Oh yes - do give The Pioneer Woman a good visit. Nice place to transport yourself to and pass time, and have a good laugh. It's probably one of the few places on the Internet that actually makes my day.

I linked her website for you. You're welcome (:

The long-awaited appointment at KL's heart centre

2010-11-23T22:01:00.027+08:00

[the appointment] My Lord, my God! Thank goodness Ah Gong is alright. The doc at KL has confirmed that there is no significant threat to his heart, save for a clog in a smaller blood vessel, which he is receving medication for.

[2 days before the appointment] Took advantage of the last weekend to come to melaka for a visit. We were pleasantly surprised to see an improvement in his condition. He's able to sit up on his own now.
I was later told that a local doctor at the hospital had been confident that Ah Gong would be able to begin walking in a month. What he currently needs are nutrients and supplements to build up his muscles and strength again.

I am so glad. Pray he continues to improve.

*edited 27th. Apologies for the genuine error regarding the 'sinseh', was muddled up when i typed ;p*

And I thought my blog was nice and silent

2010-11-23T17:01:00.006+08:00

Did you know what happened ystd? I got to WATCH BERLINER PHILHARMONIKER FOR FREE DURING THEIR REHEARSAL! Aww, paid $680 for your ticket? Shame xD

Anyway, yesterday, Weiling also finally revealed her new url.

Thought I'd go and check it out when I could, and when i scrolled to a recent post of hers, what was that I see? An previous emo post of mine, which she adapted to rebuke herself (Aii yai :O). At the end of it, a "Hi Evan :D". Hi yourself! Didn't think you'd come snooping around like a rat, you little sneak.

Lucky

2010-10-23T20:58:00.002+08:00

You don't realise how lucky you really are.

Look at how much she's done for you. Look how she never gave up on you, even during the most traumatic times, even when you caused her grief. And when it's all over, look how she continues to watch over you, how she continues to work silently to ensure that even the littlest of your needs are met, careful never to neglect them.

Why can't you see the overwhelming love she has for you? I've already given up, I've lost the ability to continue my life with you. But she hasn't. She's still there. Why can't you see?

She deserves so much more. So, so much more.

Petty young MAN.

2010-10-15T20:48:00.002+08:00

You've been constantly asking why the "whole world" is against you. Simple. You simply cannot accept criticism. Whoops, understatement. Actually, you think your critics are oppressors.

Funny actually. If you looked up critics, and you looked up oppressors, they're a far cry from being synonyms. I don't know how you're able to mix these two up.

Face it, dude. You made a mistake. Someone had to point it out to you. You aren't a baby no longer -- the "whole world" isn't obliged to sugar-coat their words for you anymore.

Grow up, dude. Learn, and behave more wisely.

Ah Gong

2010-08-29T21:43:00.005+08:00

My Ah Gong is ill );

Yesterday we visited our relatives back in Melaka to attend my cousin's Confirmation. Congrats Ruthanne (:

At the same time to see how ah gong was doing.

Mum got the call three weeks back. He apparently had a heart attack. Local doc referred him to a hospital at Sedang, KL. But his appointment will only be in Nov.

He's in a stable condition now, but very weak, and mostly confined to the bed. His legs have thinned tremendously, and there's a frequent expression of agony that flashes across his face. Ah ma attends to him practically 24/7. But he still smiles like usual when we greet him or converse, and oh man he still worries the littlest things about me.

I was sitting around outside the house staring at the old durian tree with the stupid fig on it (shame! that tree had the best durians among the rest in my grandparents' farm!). Then I had a short sneezing fit, and ah gong must have been worried -- I heard his voice from inside the house telling my mum I was sneezing, as if asking her to check on me.

Everyone's worried for him. No one really knows what's truly going on with ah gong's condition -- we're counting on the KL hospital appointment in three month's time, and god's grace.

Pray for ah gong please?

Butterfly earrings for sale

2010-08-19T18:55:00.000+08:00

------------SOLD Thanks! 8D--------------------------------

Hey, anyone wishes to buy a pair of earrings for $8? (orig. $9.90)
Its from precious thots, Bedazzled butterfly earrings (limited edition!).
Still in packaging and good as new. And quite pretty, if you ask me :D

Sorry for bad quality pic. Email/sms me or tag if you're interested thanks!

YOG spirit :p

2010-08-16T10:06:00.002+08:00

“You are my adversary... but not my enemy.”

Swedish proverb

2010-07-25T22:11:00.000+08:00

"Those who wish to sing always find a song." ~Swedish proverb

2010-05-24T21:38:00.007+08:00

eheheh.
Someone just told me that I'm more reliable than Google.

Interesting pianos

2010-05-02T22:09:00.003+08:00

Poor thing.
My own piano (or any piano I lay my hands on, for the matter) throws up on me as well.

"Glamorous" by Fergie

2010-04-22T20:19:00.008+08:00

Was listening to "Glamorous" by Fergie. Never really a hot fan of hers, but this song was simply beautiful and there's lot of meaning to it.

If you ain't got no money take your broke ass home!

My favourite line in the song was the crude one lol, but hey, if you look beyond its face value, even that line can teach you something about the things that are truly important...

ORA and Cat class

2010-04-17T21:47:00.001+08:00

I was wrong. I updated too soon. Maybe Kim inspired me.

I found ORA especially meaningful for me this year. We were manning our robosoccer booth on stage, and monopolised on this opportunity to cut costs and display our banners in ppt on the hall's projector. In other words we saved ink and trees and printing costs :D It was a very last minute idea, so I'm thankful to Mrs Leung for rushing to fill in the application the evening before, as well as the IT ppl for their flexibility. The actual day was even more rewarding. Some actually wanted to play over and over again! Some special needs children visited as well, and it was really enjoyable to encourage them and guide them with the controls (whether they heard us or not) and the faces of joy when we reward them with gifts or when they are satisfied with their performance is just so infectious (: We didn't earn much, but we got a great crowd, and great feedback and I think that's what made most of us happy. Apologies to Zel and her redcross gang if they were unhappy with the quality of their polaroids taken in the canteen. It wasn't so bad in the hall. I guess it's the wrong lighting chosen? Please forgive us!

Special thanks to:
1) Friends of ours who promised they'd come support us at our both and KEPT THEIR PROMISES :D I'd like to personally thank mine:

a. Yushi! Thanks so much for making the effort to come support and also take photo!)
b. Gladys! haha F1 driver lost the match to Yushi :O. I winced as you hobbled up the stairs and felt really guilty. Please get well soon and take good care of your scherzinger *cough* legs)
c. Michelle Lim (okay Tze En got her, but she's my friend too), thanks for playing twice (or was it more?)
d. Wei Ling! Aiyo you hate robotics so much and refused to play the game, yet you gave us a contribution for nothing. So sweet of you, even my teacher said so :)

2) Children from the spastic association! You certainly made our day and we learned much from spending time with you :D

3) Vicious boys. Your controls were impressive and your matches were especially entertaining. To those who played multiple times, glad you enjoyed it!

4) Onlookers! It was heartening to know that the games were interesting to watch, even more so when you expressed such thoughts out loud.

I left about 30 mins earlier, had to catch a bus and go for confirmation class. A few of us had to sing a verse from a psalm individually at start of class so malu! Ex-youth choir members volunteered themselves and were there before start of class to help us out with the singing. Sigh, why did youth choir have to disband? The people from there are really nice to me... kinda like older brothers and sisters. Which reminds me... I still have yet to join one of the official choirs like I told myself I would.... shame on me.

And OH i just realised today that someone I know from church (also ex-youth choir member) has recently been playing the piano for the 5pm church choir! No wonder the piano accompaniment parts sound so nice nowadays. (: Was considering going over to say hi, but he was still playing the piano as I left mass and I really didn't want him to stop... he nearly did so I immediately daoed him and left him in peace... ._.

Happy bday Kim Ho

2010-04-13T18:03:00.001+08:00

Kim Ho has been pressuring me to update my blog, but really often I can't bring my lazy fingers to write about even the most eventful things that happened. I have a knack for being unable to describe things that I keep dearly to my heart, so they tend end up being "virtual images" (oh no physics ppa depression sets in) , unrecorded memories. Which is sad. Sometime into the future I'd really like to flip tenderly the pages of a well-worn diary, and reminisce on the good/bad old days and laugh at my immature thoughts. It would be lovely. Malangnya, my attempts at keeping a diary have failed. I always quickly lose interest in recording stuff down. At least in this blog I have a couple or so recorded events, but even so they aren't the best memories that I have.

Anyway, let's get on with my real intention for writing this post:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM!
Here's a warm birthday greeting from a fellow 202'er 09 (: (I set this post to your birthdate!)
Sorry I wasn't able to wish you in person on the actual day.
The fact that you miss 202 means you had really good friendships there and that you still treasure them. Hope you'll enjoy these same treasures in your class this year! Sometimes friendships take time, guess what, being the awkward reserved person I am, it took me 3 years before I got comfortable with my catechism mates :O

Now dun come screaming at me and asking me to take this post off, you asked for it. I won't be updating again anytime soon. (:

I Want

2010-01-31T00:15:00.004+08:00

Here's something I did with Zel a few times. The rule is to list down absolutely anything you want without giving any thought to its feasibility/sensibility/consequences. No editing is allowed, but feel free to extend the list as and when you want to. Try it when you're bored! Here's a list of (sensible or otherwise) wants hot off my mind:

1)perfect eyesight! D:
2)auto-focal-adjust specs that come with treatment!
3)Herculean strength (preferrably hidden, ie. minus the muscles, so can surprise!)
4)invent a new music instrument
5)come up with an ingenious useful solution for something
6)teach sci @ Zel's (eh pri level can anot)
7)teach piano
8)DJ-ing/compose hawt music techno which sounds really cool and doesnt sound like junk
9)crash my school fitness centre every week
10)rowboat expedition
11)learn to snowboard
12)Height of 170cm!! (Hazel didn't like it and crossed it out of my list :/ Not that it's possible for me anyway T.T)
13)compose a chart-topper
14)work faster!
15)rear a family of mice
16)rear a horse
17)grow a garden
18)design and make a toy
19)learn to tailor my own clothes
20)learn to skateboard
21)fill in surveys and win prizes
22)run very fast
23)a mini library full of awesome books
24)a zen room
25)a zen garden
26)drive a car
27)teleportation powers
28)telepathic powers
29)telekinetic powers
30)Climb a tree
31)Build a treehouse
32)a farm
33)discover a cure for a rare/untreatable disease
34)healing powers
35)comedy as part-time job (though I aint really funny ._.)
36)make my bro cry
37)make my bro laugh
38)a neurologist
39)or maybe a chiropractor
40)a high-in-demand songwriter??
41)oh wait maybe an MTV director/producer
42)write a best-seller
43)CAREFREE DAYS
44)Collect unwanted Barbie dolls
45)and PUNKIFY/MUTILATE them muahahaha
46)Save someone's life
47)Enough sleep sighs
48)An elder sibling
49)Make my mum proud
50)Be a better sister
51)Own a boat
52)Recover from a disease
53)Survive from a disaster/accident

The Mean Kitty Song

2009-10-09T19:22:00.004+08:00

The Mean Kitty Song. This is a must watch! All the best for whatever's left of the exams btw. :)

I feel pretty - west side story

2009-09-30T15:57:00.002+08:00

Came across this and for some reason just had to share it.
Doesn't it just remind you of a certain someone in class :DD

NJRC withdrawal symptoms

2009-09-11T13:10:00.004+08:00

Haha we were major suckers during the mission!

But still, I'm proud of our team this year. What we did was really worthwhile, and I'm glad we put in a lot of effort for research, booth and entreprenuership. Our encounters with the judges coming round our booths (especially our entrepreneurship one! I quote from May Ning: "...the longest conversation with judges...")sure were interesting ones weren't they? I haven't had this much fun in NJRC in a while already, and I have to say that this is the best. It was more than enough to compensate for our absolutely degrading robot performance -- which was a pity though, because our robot was able to carry out our initial tasks perfectly. Yet our hard-earned points were all forfeited because in the end our robot failed to return properly to base. Personally I think this year's scoring system is rather unfair. Zero isn't something you'd award teams whose robots at least successfully managed to accomplish the tasks given before it reaches base. It's like a wasted effort ):

That aside. I've finally grown to like NXT, which I had always been so afraid of (loyalty to RCX dimishing?)

I have just too many people to thank for this oddly heartening experience. In absolutely no particular order:

1) "?" My team members! Should I name names: Min Yan, May Ning, Pamela and Zi Ning :)

2) "Smiling Crescents" the other team! Haha I coudn't restrain myself from your chocolate rolls and ended up parting with a lot of money. I remember how members from both sides ("?" and " Smiling Crescents" just went wherever we please and settled our butts into each others like it was our own home heheh.

3) Mrs Leung :) You know we can never thank you enough.

4) Mr Loh, our mentor :) Thanks for making Min Yan's cool LED board idea come true, and also for being so nice about uh... letting our valued customers vandalise your face/picture.

5) Mr Samuel :) Our teams were really glad you provided us with much-needed assistance. I learnt a lot more this year :) And yes I lost my fear of NXT thanks to you

7) Ms Marriete Ong :) Thank you so much for taking time to explain in detail so many things i needed to know to help us in research! Especially the part about drugs and current updates.

8) Goh. Jen. I. Was. Actually. So. Shocked. You. Bothered. To. Reply. My. Mail. Thanks a ton for your very handy info about the technological advancements in golf. I'm really thankful you were so willing to take the time to share with me.

And finally, to my dear team mates, always remember our million-dollar answer:
"Don't ask. We have no idea either." XD

2009-09-07T22:06:00.001+08:00

You know that feeling when you’ve spent a great deal of your time working on something and others who are also involved in it take the full credit for it?

My parents say it happens a lot in the corporate world and chided me, saying I should have protected my work more and let people know about my efforts. I don’t know, I never felt comfortable simply telling people everything I’ve done. It feels weird, and though quite a number of people are capable of doing that, I just can’t bring myself to rattle off my own list of contributions.

I don’t feel jealous when others take full credit. But I do feel like I’ve lost something I put in a lot of effort for. All of a sudden I feel like the work I was so proud of doesn’t belong to me anymore. And I myself feel abandoned.

Faure...

2009-09-06T22:53:00.004+08:00

This week was absolutely discouraging.

My only distraction was the YIF emceeing. Somehow voice projection is just like shouting -- your worries just dissipate and the effects last for a pretty good amount of time. So thank you very much for insisting I project my voice much louder than my initial volume Mdm Liew (: It benefitted myself as well 'cuz it was really therapeutic...

Yamaha compt today was absolutely scary. I played my much feared Faure again and when I was done -- she glared daggers at me (the deep deep black eyeliner only amplified the effect). My heart just stopped (and it hasn't been fuctioning properly since -- even till now). Bottom line: Faure and I may unfortunately never get along. Sighs. A pity, really, for his music is really lovely.

Things on my mind right now.

2009-08-02T11:22:00.006+08:00

8 things heavy on my mind right now.

1) People who jump to nasty conclusions. Sometimes I wish you’d just stop making false assumptions that really put people down. Thanks to the lot of you, my friends have been really upset. It’s not fair. It’s really not fair to judge people like that.

2) NJRC. We havent't been very productive. And the competition is but only in a few weeks' time. Plus the fact that last week I couldnt attend robotics because of a bad headache. Next week all of us will have to do something. Something worthwhile.

3) Commitments that mess up other commitments that in turn mess up other commitments. This isn't new to many of you.

4) People whose claims that they know me seldom stand true.

5) I really want to serve my Church in the youth choir. They really need more members and keyboardists as well. I feel so guilty delaying cos of points no. 3 AND 7.

6) PTs. The Chinese one which facts I haven't memorised nor rehearsed. And the Hist one. And the MEP one. Batchmates can testify.

7) My inability to focus. I've become a wandering stone. Funny how you can do both at once -- Technically, you can't move and be still at the same time. Pardon my increasing mental retardation.

8) People who mistake being alone for loneliness. It's sure feels wonderful when I have friends around, but sometimes I'd like to have some quiet time to myself. Sometimes I sit alone at a discreet corner at (I won't tell you where I've been to) to enjoy the peaceful breezy tranquility that I'd never enjoy elsewhere in school. If some adventurous soul happen to chance upon me, I'm emoing, poor me.

YES I'VE FINALLY GOTTEN THEM OFF MY STUPID SACK.

Michael Scheppard's Open Class

2009-07-19T22:07:00.004+08:00

Ack.

My Faure sucked. ):
I totally lost control and I'm pretty sure the great composer himself was yelling -- agonisingly --at me from his grave.

It's surprising I'm finally saying this, but no more Steinway for me. I'm so unworthy of it. I can never touch that grand again man -- Faure was the last straw.

It's way too exclusive.
Only the elite (im pretty sure it was self-proclaimed heh :D ) like Slushy can get used to its sophisticated touch. She's in love with only the best.

Michael Scheppard's Masterclass

2009-07-12T13:10:00.007+08:00

Some mystery person happily popped up on my tagboard one day and said "hello update tell us about your piano lessons."

Well frankly there isn't much to talk about my lessons. Let's talk about the teacher instead.

Mdm Fang is a veeeeeeerrrrryyyyy passionate teacher.

Cuz usually we NAFA peeps have the habit of videotaping our lessons so when i playback I am especially captivatied by the passionate Mdm Fang. singing her heart out, playing her heart out or barking (?) her heart out. Maybe if you reveal yourself (and if I trust you enough) I might show you a few clippings of my piano lessons and then you get the idea. :)

Yesterday we attended Michael Sheppard's public masterclass at the Arts House and yes Ning, he sure was funny wasn't he. I liked how he taught Seth how to "use a sword" in his Brahms. Regrettably I cannot express the sound effects here ): it was deadly hilarious! Don't ask me how I kept a straight face either, Ning, when he taught you how to flatten your fingers. (My insides were terribly shredded.) Here's what happened.

Prof Michael: You wouldn't say to someone "I love you" like this *clawing Ning's arm like a bloodthirsty vulture i suck at metaphors*

Instead you say "I loovve you." *holds arm gently and loovvingly -- precious moment*

Now how did that feel, Ning XD

Chiang Mai!

2009-06-15T12:37:00.004+08:00

I love Chiang Mai! The people there are really mild. Those trying to sell you stuff or asking you to ride their tutups and taxis are also less pushy and irritating than those in Bangkok. Love the relatively slower pace of the city.

So what's in the city?
Night bazaar and counterfeit products. And good prices if you bargain hard.
Tutups and taxis for tourists.

Second day, we went out of the city on a day tour. We went to places like the Golden Triangle (the boundary betweeen three neighbouring countries: Thailand, Myanmar and Laos)

From there we took a boat ride to an island in Laos. More counterfeit products. And uh, Chinese viagra *coughs* You should have seen the poor animals preserved inside! Armadillos! Scorpions! The tiger one means the guy drinking it will become strong. And the one with the cobra in it....... they say it gives you a long one (!!!)

Sheesh, ms tour guide, this is supposed to be a family vacation. Uh, oops. Maybe that's why.
There's a couple on honeymoon in our tour group by the way. But the deadly scorpions and cobras scared the shits out of the guy and he was cackling nervously and losing his senses even though HE WASN'T GOING TO TRY ON THE VIAGRA ANYWAY. o.O

Then back to Thailand. Visited some rural areas and villages.
My favourite was the part where we visited a tribe with "long neck" women. You know those kinds where they put rings on your neck to make it longer? Yeah. Those people are pretty quiet but they smile a lot. And there was this drop dead gorgeous 11-year old girl. She's really beautiful, so her folks gave her that ring-thingy to wear around her neck as well because wearing that ring means you can't marry someone from another tribe. According to our guide, the young people of the tribe may or may not choose to wear the rings and become "long necks". I took a couple of pictures together with the long necks, including her :D The current long necks are actually not Thai citizens -- they come from Myanmar. They are here in Thailand to seek a better life. But Thailand will not grant them any citizenship, and will not allow them to roam anywhere else outside the village they are currently living in. Oh wells. The people there seem content with their lives though. I love their smiles. :)

I should post this on my RSP blog. Might do a lot of good and justice to it. Except that I'd have to censor away the viagra part. And the fine print about the honeymoon couple. I don't want any trouble with the teacher.

One more thing.
That "long-neck" girl is really very beautiful. Just wanted to point that out.

2009-04-06T17:36:00.002+08:00

Someone told me it was time I ditched (or at least reduce) the rich delicacies and sweets I have been (supposedly) overgorging myself with. She may be exaggerating though. I eat just enough (ok, a little more than I need) to keep me self happy. :)

Anyway, she has a point. About time I had a healtier diet. And the nutrition enthusiast kindly drew up a list of "good" snacks to load me up with:

1) A piece of fruit
2) Carrot sticks
3) Trail mix of raisins and nuts (Whoa, trail mix somore eh.)
4) Low-fat granola bar (low fa-- OK I GEDDIT.)
5) Yoghurt

Let's see what else's in the list... ooh she even got me drinks:

6) Low-fat/Nonfat milk (sheesh either you're an ano or your supersight magnifies stuff X40. My dudes can testify.)
7) 100% Juice

Thank you very much, dear :) All that talk about food is making my stomach rumble now. Now where is that lovely Mudpie McFlurry I just got?

2009-02-20T19:10:00.003+08:00

Class birthday today. I passed my handmade set of bookmarks to Nicolette and Elisa gave me a bagfull of chocs!! Yumyum.... oh the birthday cheesecake with strawberry agar on top was the tops. There are people in my class who always know how to find high-class food. Ohh my angel Sheryl is one such person too! Not neccessarily high class, but she always gives me nice chocolates :D

I left school early today, cuz IvP peeps have to attend IvP Launch at NTU. I saw Jia Chee! She was deployed as one of the door ushers! The blue NYGH blazer was lovely and it looked really great on her. Later during reception i met Shi Jia. I didn't realise I was standing right in front of him (he's a giant) until i heard "hello evangeline". I looked up. Ah, hey there.

Early in the morn I wasn't feeling that great. I haven't been these few days, especially in the mornings. One of the days when the first block was PE i felt giddy and a little faint halfway during the basketball game. And listless and out of stamina. I had to sit by the side to rest. Today I had a bad tummyache. The ointment didn't help much. Glad it was finally over, but it took two hours, and once in the afternoon it recurred again.

Oh wells. Now for a short break, before I start doing something useful other than playing ghost aound the house.

Bummer Blessings

2009-02-02T17:10:00.005+08:00

Bummers can turn out to be blessings in disguise after all!

I had to go home alone that day. Geez, everyone either has OM or cca or sth. And then I had to wait for the next bus because the first one was chock full. Sheesh.

When i arrived at boon lay i was wondering whether to catch the last shuttle bus back to my condo or get some gifts for some peeps whose birthdays are coming up. Today was the best time, cuz I'm pretty homework free and well, Theory isn't until 6.45 pm. But that meant I'd had to endure a pretty long wait for public bus (181 is notorious for being extra late sometimes). Well in the end i guess the angel in me ruled out my lazy selfish self, so there. After gift shopping I trudged towards the 181 stop, and look who i found -- Yue Ling! Yay, a buddy to go home with, and its been a long time since we went home together! She had with her a friend of hers, Shi Jie. So we got acquainted. He's so sweet, he wasn't taking 181 and yet queued up to pei Yue Ling. Such nice friend :D Yay he happens to be in robotics too!

Later Yue Ling and I boarded the bus. The bus came to my stop and shit lar where did my wallet go. I had to miss my stop to look for it. Then found le. I had to alight at Yue Ling's stop. "You wanna see my dog? He's in my backyard!" Rainy is Yue Ling's 3-month-old puppy and its damn adorable. And it's really well trained! When Yue Ling tells it to sit, it immediately does (and thats only one of a few other tricks)! Yue Ling is such a professional! So, we alighted, and walked towards her house. Rainy got so excited when Yue Ling arrived, it tried to squeeze itself out of the backyard gate to receive her! Unfortunately the gate didn't allow for that, so you see a head popping thru the wire gauze, and behind that, furious paws scratching away like anything. Kawaai desu~

You just can't hate the dog.

I guess that really fueled me up enough to walk back home. (The usual me would have grumbled about having to drag myself back to where i came from if i missed a stop.) Well, I guess I'm just lucky :)

To Ning Hui

2009-01-12T21:20:00.002+08:00

This is a message for ninghui, a proof somewhat.

I'm sorry that recently there have been expletives mysteriously being thrown at you. Apparently he/she signs off as 'evan'. You had a great shock didn't you? Well it definitely wasn't me. I've posted this message to assure you that this is the real evan speaking.

:),
Evan (the one and only.)

A Very Short Post About IGGY

2008-12-21T15:11:00.004+08:00

A very short post about IGGY Winter U 2008: Had a beautiful time there. Oh what fun. Will keep in touch with my dearest friends... :D

Emotions revealed. Aiya

2008-12-09T10:18:00.003+08:00

Ok, more than a week's over now. Grace and jinfu, very wonderful acting indeed.

So, who's behind the emo message posted previously? I'd have to give all credits to our wonderful couple who'd been tagging "words of consolation". Call it truth or dare. Apparently i kenna, so grace suggested i post sth really emo. It was humiliatingly scalding, and the two jokers were so rofl. After all, when was the last time you ever saw me posting an emo message?

You always make me take the blame. Your faults always became mine.

Hah. Precious isn't it.

Cringing with embarrassment,
(Oh i cant bear to sign me off.)

Undesired

2008-12-01T09:36:00.004+08:00

I didn't want to do it.

You made me.
You wanted me to.
But I didn't want to do it.

Do what?
I don't know how, but

You've always made me take the blame for everything.
Your faults always became mine.

It's not like me to emo?
Perhaps not in front of you.

Here. You don't even know I'm doing this.

My bro's fancy dress competition

2008-11-25T11:54:00.002+08:00

So.

My bro won.

You know the fancy dress competition I was talking about? It took place in the student care centre last friday. He dressed up as a girl in my clothes. Pretty-ugly lol. But cute. The teachers at the centre bared their teeth more than they should, but i guess their roars were droned out by the fiercer student majority. Simply put, everyone was amused. When i visited, Ms K gave me two thumbs up. "Nice dress!" Then she told my dad loads aut Isaiah, his confidence up the catwalk, and stuff. She was really excited about it. Well, everyone was. And yes, the boy got first. $10 cash (SWEET!) and other attractive items.

Later dad drove us to malacca visit my relatives. Stayed at our malacca home, a hotel unit. So the routine is that every morning we wake up (late)and dad would drive us to the kampung where our relatives stay. Only ah ma, ah gong, ah kim and 'R' was in the house. 'J' had recently joined his much older 'A' in KL to pursue their studies. Eternal bliss for 'R', who finally has the computer to herself now that the boys are gone :D.

Came back sunday night. Yesterday had a packed schedule. Robotics meeting in school, then rush out early for math course, then theory, then dental appointment so i was booked the whole day. Some people probably have it much worse than me. Like gladys o.O Go on, ask her. She'll readily agree she's much more busy than you. I quite agree myself. See her schedule. Shudders.

Ning Hui, you are really pro. Fancy getting such a score for your PSLE. You smart clever school record breaker.

Knee Surgery

2008-11-19T21:46:00.002+08:00

So, anybody wants to be a surgeon?

Virtual Knee Surgery

Click here to play this game

Rotting Away

2008-11-19T11:57:00.002+08:00

I'm with you guys.

You're all rotting away, I see.

It's a nasty feeling, I know.

You go around pestering others, asking them for opinions (instructions, actually) on what you should be doing. You can't think for yourself -- you're practically braindead.

You beg for assistance. Others, as equally helpless as you, moan and reply, "play comp games la", but you know you can't just live on that. Outings leh, also not an everyday thing. In other words, you're bored as soon as you have nothing else to do.

Parents may see this as an opportunity to sign you up for lessons to fill in the pathetic empty schedule of yours. You're not grateful though. Bored as you may be, you don't want to work. Because deep down, what you really want is fun.

Fun. All the simple things you can do to have fun. Yet you tire of it already. You spend all day playing your favourite Halo or Habbo or Heck-whatever-you-call-it and still complain you've wasted 24 hours of your life. Sigh, life. Very complex indeed. This is the time you have been looking forward too, but yet been unable to handle.

Miserable mortal, welcome to the post-examinations era.

................................................
................................................
................................................

p.s. I do not speak on behalf of everyone. Should any of you feel strongly against this, do share with us how you've been able to cope and help us, the lost ones.

gratefully appreciated,
the glum and gloomy.

2008-11-06T13:40:00.002+08:00

This morning at the school foyer I was feeling bored. Gladys started yakking away about her dream guy Hamilton and chided me for my outrageous teases the day before (I told her something about tasting his lips, forgot how i described it). Well I'm not standing there and staying the victim forever. I started moving.........the Gladys moves. Aped her every gestures. It's hilarious (and tiring) the way Gladys carries herself, the way she flaps her skirts, rubs her neck, twist her legs, or make a sharp turn so suddenly. Compare her to a hummingbird on high carbo --- only bigger, bulkier and clumsier. (That was for irrelevently commenting about my flabs) Woo, was that funny. After a round of ticklish tummyaches -- our duo (Gladys and her ape yours truly) had already brought elysia, reesa and melissa to their laughing grave -- elysia and reesa joined in the 'aping' of Gladys and they we were the four of us, exhaustedly mimicking a still very energetic Gladys. 'Eh, should have recorded this and upload on youtube,' someone said (Elysia or melissa ah?). These days, everything also must put on youtube, dunno why.

Now to the not so enjoyable stuff.

Groan.

I just did so badly for today's Malay Conversational Test. I was like silent for most of the questions cuz I couldn't catch or couldn't understand. Heck, I couldn't even ask for a repeat - I was talking to a computer. The other girls seem to fare better than me, and even so they were already complaing like hell.

I have an invitation to shuxian's for dinner tonight. Don't really feel like going, cuz my flu, sore throat and headaches are granting me a horrible appetite. I havent been getting any better (I think I overworked myself, monkeying around in the foyer), so I'll call Huang Ma and tell her sorry I'm sick.

Man I feel tired. But i cant take a nap. I'd figet around and feel so uncomfortable. But I cant stay fully awake either. I'd stone at a corner, perhaps at the monitor, and really it's not a nice feeling. Hen xian.

I'm going to see weiling's blog now. I'll ask her the url. Sry weiling, long time no visit le, do you want me to link you?

2008-11-02T12:14:00.003+08:00

Happy (belated) Halloween. A couple of days ago jason wished me in advance. "Trick or Treat?" I chose trick. Jason admitted he couldn't trick me, so I had to choose the latter. He had a sweet he could give me, but the joker said I had to find him first. Heck, I dont even know where he lives. Thanks jason, but no thank you either. In any case I'm not going to come all the way to your place just to get a sweet.

My brother had an important announcement today. They're having some costume party two weeks later, and he's decided he's gonna dress up as a girl. o.O Yes, a girl. "To make peopke laugh." What a clown. But I'm gonna be so proud of him. Yes, boy, you rock! Love your initiative. Be brave, go out there and be a man! (woman, actually) I've proudly showcased him my collection of skirts and dresses (not much of a collection, actually, since my wardrobe's bombarded with jeans and T's). I thought the white skirt with a pink line went well with my current white and pink shirt. He readily agreed. With a red wig he's planning to don later, he'd look real pretty in the casual girl's outfit. He's really excited about it, so am I and so is his teacher (never seen a boy so willingly dress as a girl dint cha, :p). My mom thinks I'm in a worse mental state than he is now, being so enthusiastic about this whole thing and so suppotive. She's not a very strong supporter of the young man's idea, but well, she too, is tickled at the thought. She's agreed to take him somewhere, og perhaps, to see if there are any cheap wigs. I liked the one he wore in his class play last year, the long, straight black one. But he wants to be red headed, so a red wig it shall be. I won't be seeing red though. I'm laughing so uncontrollably now, my eyes are squeezed shut.

2008-10-30T21:13:00.000+08:00

This evening I went over to shuxian's (yes Hazel, it's the little girl who thought I was talking to the computer ;p) place to play with her. "Auntie" or "Huang Ma Ma" (shuxian's mum, as she is affectionately termed -- I always switch between the two) called, said the little rascal was 'hot on fire', screaming for "E-ban" jie jie to come play with her, and the madam needed a break.

I'm now typing on their computer because earlier on i was playing a computer game with shuxian -- her favourite: Dress-up. There're loads of dress-up games on y8.com, so naturally I hit. Before long she tires of the virtual game, and decides to train for real. Explains why I look the way I look this very moment, her water color paint on my cheeks, and my hair in an afro. And no, I'm not showing you.

Huang Ma Ma marvels at my 'phenomenal patience', like she always says. "Look what the crazy girl is doing to you!" Today she poses her question of the week: "How come you can like this kind of person ah? She not very annoying mah?" To which I answer, "Because she likes me." Madam grinned, rolled her eyes, as though she thinks I'm trying to be smart. Lols. But seriously. I know what I'm saying and I mean what I say, because hey, somebody likes you! And you just gotta love her back for loving you.

Which One?

2008-10-23T16:55:00.000+08:00

Hey. I'm kinda stuck about my choice of blogskin. I have two loves. The current one looks pleasant and i love the colour. But the other one's cool too. You can move objects around andi like its idea of being at a desk. Still, the current looks too good to be discarded.): Suppose we have a vote? Compare these two. Log on to the temporary http://www.leftover-ink.blogspot.com/ to check out the other design. Let me know which skin is the better of the two. Thanks.

A Doggy Tale

2008-08-22T15:55:00.000+08:00

http://www.catherinekhoo.sg/featur_authors_july.html

go.

http://www.catherinekhoo.sg/category2.php?Age=10

go go.

http://www.catherinekhoo.sg/selectedbook.php?ProductId=54

go go go.

Every ebook you download (for a fee of $2 via PayPal or credit card), the young author gets 20 cents. Yup, a meagre 10% royalty. Let's see how far we go. There's loads of books written by kids, including the one i wrote when i was ten!

From the High Desk

2008-08-16T21:54:00.000+08:00

This is a good day. I've got everything under my control (a rare and worthy reason to celebrate). Even the keyboard. You won't see spelling errors in this one, i promise. See if it lasts.

With control comes my very first letter to you all.

For a while I've lost interest in blogging. I didn't quite see the fun of it. I don't know what made me do this again. Maybe it's the heat. Or perhaps i just need something else to do once in a while. Anyway, now that I've caught the bug back I'm up with this new blog.

Yes.

Welcome to Yawning Fleas.

Thank you for reading up to this point. You have officially begun your regular dose of Evan's crap. I understand the pain you would have to go through if you force yourself to continue through this lameness. Forgive me, it's just the way I am when I'm blogging. To unsubcribe, just click X at the little corner up there. I won't take it to heart, rest assured.

For the strong-willed, I appreciate and admire your tolerance. Continue your support if you can still last. See you during your next dose.

Open your mouths wide,
Evan